My mind is a strange place.

So, according to the latest research I have read, being pregnant with male children increases the mother's visual-spatial skills, as well as mathematical abilities, due to the steady amount of testosterone and androgens produced by the baby.  I can't help but wonder if the same effect could be produced from...extracurricular activities.  I then decided that line of thought was dangerous.

How do I get myself into these situations?

So, this past Monday I had an interesting experience.  I was in my bathrobe, about to get in the shower, when someone I don't recognize pulls into my driveway.  I don't open the door when I'm home alone unless I know the person knocking, and certainly not in my robe!  I darted into the other room to wait out of sight while the visitor gave up knocking and left.  Except...he didn't give up.  He started trying to get inside the house!  My blood surged like fire in my veins when I heard him turn the doorknob.
     I was stuck in the hallway, while my phone was on the dining room table, the only room in the house without curtains!  I had to reach the phone to be able to call the police, but how was I supposed to do that with some creepy man in a toboggan trying to break in to my house?!  Quite the conundrum.  It took a lot of crawling and swearing and praying to Jesus, but I eventually managed it.  By this time he was going around the house, trying to get into the windows as well.  I cussed Tiffany's sister in multiple languages for taking off the wrought-iron bars due to vanity.  The police came and saved me, escorted the random man (who when the cops pulled up pretended that I had given him permission to pick pecans, of all things!) off the premises, and I decided to take a personal day from class.

The most RANDOM things happen to me, I swear.

Beautiful Mess

I've never been so excited to check the mail in my LIFE!  Why?  Brooks mailed me a letter today!  Sadly, I'm terribly impatient, and have to wait until Tuesday-ish to receive said letter.  ::pout::

In other news, I'm almost down to my weight goal of 130! Accidental weightloss FTW!!  ::happydance::

Do you ever think that doing physical work is so much more satisfying than mental work?  I do.  Mental work (e.g. school) is always there, inside my head, nagging at me to work more, more, more.  Oddly enough, I enjoy doing things with my hands, the physical act of creating is gratifying to me.  One of the many reasons I like to bake so much!  The other main reason being that other people like it when I bake, too. :)

I'm completely unperturbed by the numerous burns and scars I'm accumulating on my arms from working in the kitchen at Cracker Barrel.  It has been drawn to my attention that this attitude is very out of character with the female half of the species.  Who cares?

I was very sad to be stuck inside Cracker Barrel while it stormed, today.  I am in love with storms.  They're my favourite. :)

I have a habit of falling into the caretaker role in cohabitating environments.  I enjoy this role, it suits me.  It does not work well when the other person(s) do not have a complimentary role.  It stresses me out, and makes me feel unappreciated, which makes me bitter-ish.  No bueno.

I'm buying a new laptop tomorrow!  It won't get here for a week or so, but...It's going to be amazing!  Then I can give Fernando back to the Eakins and have my new laptop! :)  Its new name is still a secret, I don't wanna jinx it! (I did put it in Brooks' letter, but he hasn't gotten it yet :)  ).

On the radio at work, a cupid.com commercial comes on frequently and they say "Why do YOU Cupid?", well, to day I responded with "I don't, cause I have the best boyfriend in the world!  Hah!".  ...This was the ONE TIME someone was behind me and I didn't know it all day today, so they totally heard me.  I don't mind, it's true! :)

Moratorium

...Dang. Is it February yet?  I find myself even less productive than usual.  I'm besieged by pangs of missing Brooks.  In time, I know they'll become more bearable, more like a constant dull ache than the loss of a limb.  Probably.  Dang.  At least now I have him to miss!  When he left for school in the summer I missed him just as bad, but had to keep it bottled up, 'cause it was a Secret.  Plus, he loves me.  That pretty much takes care of all of my problems in life right there. :)

My random waste of time semester starts on Tuesday with my programming class.  I'm quite nervous/excited about that!  It's been a long time since I've done any programming, but I do enjoy it a lot.

I'm trying to decide whether or not to lie, or just take it on the chin.  Hell, she's already gonna be pissed at me, might as well go all out.  This might be a bad decision, but I'm not ashamed.

Take Away Love and Our Earth is a Tomb

Well. It has certainly been an eventful week!  (Has it only been a week?)

I'm dating Brooks now, which has been my quasi-secret desire for ages, and that is fantastic.  Seriously.  I'm excited to wake up in the morning, and I don't even remember the last time that happened.  Quasi-secret desire, because I think EVERYONE IN THE WHOLE WORLD knew...except Brooks. (Fail).  ::smile::  But!  It all worked out, so all's well that ends well!

Working at Cracker Barrel is going well enough.  Work is something that I do to finance my actual desired activities, so... ::shrug::

I start taking my random classes next week, I'm both excited and rather exasperated.

My favourite kind of bread thus far is foccacia.  I do think I will try my hand at making it soon.  Oh!  And I have a very small indoor herb garden!  I've yet to assemble it....but I HAVE it! :)  Home-grown herbs!  Extra delicious. Mmmm :)

My life is going to be so epic.

Read at your own risk.

Have you ever had one of those times where everything is going along fine, and then all of the sudden, WHAM! You're reeling and not entirely sure what set off the explosion?  Regardless, that is me....right now.

Inside me rages a tempest of fear and love and pain and guilt and happiness and longing and a hundred other emotions that are shredding me from the inside out.

The overall effect is that I mourn quietly and stumble around, dazed and defeated.

But I don't do "defeated".  I never seem to give up, even when I should.

The irony of it all makes me laugh until at some point, I begin to cry again.